1. Miss cloudy days
As I think I've mentioned, Kansas gets more sunshine than Florida. On the surface, this seems like a good thing. But consider this scenario:
You glance outside and see the sun shining brightly in a big blue sky that stretches from horizon to horizon. "What a gorgeous day! I think I'll go for a walk." Sure, it's February, so it'll be brisk. But it's worth it for a few minutes in that beautiful sunshine.
You put on your shoes and coat, open the front door and step outside. Suddenly, you can't breathe, your eyes sting and your face feels like it's just been slapped by a glacier.
That's because it's 8 degrees and the wind is blowing at a steady 15 mph. That means it feels so much colder. Like at least -37.
Seriously. The sunshine is entirely misleading. It's false advertising. When it's that cold, it should be gray and overcast. Just saying.
2. Navigate by water tower
I hate finding my way around hotels. Nick can attest - it doesn't matter if it's the Hampton Inn or a really swanky place in NYC. There's a 100 percent chance that I will get lost trying to find our room, the lobby, the pool, wherever. The corridors all look alike, and it confuses my already overtaxed brain. Problem is, Kansas is similar. Everything looks the same. All the roads are straight, and there are no significant landmarks to guide you in the right direction.
Yes, I know. I could just navigate by direction. Most right-thinking people seem to prefer that method. But it just takes too much thought for me. I'd rather have an object (like a mountain, perhaps?) to use as a compass.
Sadly, Kansas is severely lacking in the mountain department. But I'm resourceful, so I've adapted. I've learned that watertowers make servicable guideposts. You can see them for miles, so it's usually easy to figure out which way you should - or shouldn't - be going. I just had to remember that the one in Goddard is blue, the one at Harper's school is white and the one in Maize is sort of a weird shape.
These days, I've pretty much figured out how to get where I want to go, but those water towers came in quite helpful during our first few weeks in Wichita.
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| Beacons of hope in a barren landscape. (Incidentally, the temperature was 18 degrees on the day this photo was taken.) |
When I was working for the newspaper, I interviewed a man who had decided to move to Kingsport following retirement. On his list of positives about Northeast Tennessee? Good water.
This was perplexing. There's Eastman. And BAE. And whatever they're calling the paper mill these days. How could anyone consider the water in Kingsport to be "good?"
Well, after moving to Wichita, I now understand what "good" water is. I'm sure the city water that runs into our house is completely safe to drink, but it tastes terrible. Sort of musty. How can water taste like that? It's water. It shouldn't really taste like anything.
I have no idea why it tastes so yucky, but it's bottled water for the Adams family. Or maybe a filtration system. We'll see.
4. Dread driving across town
In the few short months we've lived here, it seems I've become a "true" Wichitan. You see, locals here have an aversion to driving anywhere if it takes longer than 10 minutes. Therefore, people are either east siders or west siders. You have pretty much the same stores and restaurants on each side of town. They're like mirror images. The symmetry is kind of weird.
Because of the similarities, you shouldn't have to cross the ArKANSAS River unless you just want to take a day trip to the other side of town. Keep in mind that it only takes about 25 minutes to get from where I live - which is about as far west as you can go and still be in Wichita - to my favorite eastside haunt: the big Joann Fabric store.
When we lived in Kingsport, it took at least 15 minutes to get to Kroger or Target. And I had to drive across a ridge on a two-lane road. So why do I suddenly find myself putting off east-side errands because I don't feel like driving ALL the way over there on a four lane?
Wow. Assimilation happened fast.
5. Wear cowboy boots
Well, you know what they say. When in Rome. Or Wichita.....
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