5 Weird Things About Wichita

When we announced we were moving to Wichita, a lot of our friends and families had the same reaction. "Kansas?!?! Really?" I'm sure they thought we'd lost our minds.

Don't get me wrong - I never dreamed we'd end up here, but I'm glad we did. Wichita has pleasantly surprised me from our first time here. 

No, it's not a major-metro area on the East Coast (although we considered an option that would have landed our family in just such a spot). And yes, it is 1,000 miles from home - and from basically anywhere else.

But Wichita is pretty cool for families in our stage of life. It's safe, cheap, there's plenty for the kids to do and with 500,000 people in Sedgewick County, big-name acts pass through occassionally. (Much to Harper's disappointment, Taylor Swift was here the first weekend we were in town.) 

Even so, I've discovered some things about Wichita and its natives that are just plain weird.

1. It's a sack, not a bag 

As in "Do you want your milk in a sack, ma'am?" It took me while to figure out what the bag boy was asking. 

2. Short and sweet

Native Wichitans end conversations with a clipped "Yep." It actually sounds a lot like "Yip." 

Example:

Me: "Thanks for spending three days showing us houses, enduring hours of Wichita-related trivia questions and negotiating a home purchase within an afternoon. We really appreciate your help and think you're awesome."

Realtor: "Yep."

At first I thought I was being rudely dismissed, but then I realized this is how everyone talks.

3. A Sausage Wasteland

By and large, groceries here are the same as in Kingsport. I can get all the same stuff, with one glaring exception. Sausage. Like good spicy, smoked sausage to grill or put in gumbo or on a sandwich with peppers and onions. I've been to all the major supermarkets and can't find anything other than just the plain-jane stuff. This is simply unacceptable when you're married to a man from Louisiana. It must be remedied soon.

This is not good. You can do better, Wichita.

4. That's not a lake

Water is a hot commodity here in Wichita, so people are quite proud of their lakefront property. That must be because these folks have never actually seen a lake. At best, these are pond-front homes; more appropriately, we're talking about puddle-front homes. Sure, there's a "lake" in our neighborhood with a nice little walking trail around it, but I know a pond when I see one.

5. Off-roading in my mom-mobile

Wichita's roads are the weirdest thing I've discovered so far. The city is laid out like a grid, so if you can remember which roads go north/south and which go east/west, you can pretty much get around. Or at least in theory.

I'll be driving down a major thoroughfare that I know goes west, thinking I've found a great shortcut home from the Super Target. And then the road turns into this:

West 151st Street in Wichita

Yep, that's a dirt road in the middle of a cornfield, less than two miles from the west side's major shopping area. The asphalt inexplicably started up again once I crossed Maple Street.

And while we live on the outskirts of town - a whopping 20 minutes from downtown Wichita - dirt roads are not unique to the hinterlands. We discovered a dirt road lined with half-a-million dollar, pond-front homes just one block off a major highway, smack in the middle of town.

Because they just seem to pop up in the strangest places, the dirt road situation is just so strange, even to me and Nick, whose home states aren't exactly cosmopolitan. I grew up in Hawkins County, for Pete's sake, where we are particularly proud of our dirt roads.

More to come as I discover more about this strange, beautiful life on the prairie.